chevman

it's amazing what a transition from an old year to a new one can do to a person.  i think the realization that a new year equals a new start helps open one's eyes to new possibilities.

which is exactly what happened to me.

this year, i am saying goodbye to acting...and saying hello to a new career.

i am saying goodbye to the south...and saying hello to Quezon City.

i am saying goodbye to living with family...and saying hello to living on my own.

it's 2007.  a year of goodbyes.  a year of new hellos.  a year of challenges.  an uphill climb.  a new way of life.

new possibilities.

Currently feeling: determined

chevman

the title of this post came from Rica's blog...and it made me think...if that statement is true, i've been losing a lot of days.  the things that have been happening in my life lately have caused me not to smile as often as i should.  but hey...a new year is right around the corner...maybe that will help things change...(by the way, that was me trying to be optimistic.)

there are so many things that i want to say here, but because my mind is working overtime, i can't get the words out.  but when i do, i'll post it all here, so you guys will (maybe) understand what i'm going through.

i'll be carrying on...

Currently listening to: Welcome to the Black Parade - My Chemical Romance
Currently feeling: blank

chevman

Lately, I've had a bunch of time all alone here at home...which also means a lot of time to just ponder about the decisions I have made in the past.  Everybody has made a few mistakes in the past and there are a couple that I have made myself that I regret so damn much.  There are things that I've done that hurt important people in my life.  And as i sit here in front of the computer, my mind wanders.  I just watched "Click" for the first time and i can't help but wonder if the people I consider important in my life think of me the same way.  I'm not very happy with the things that I've done.  It has gotten to the point where I'm receiving death threats.  I have no idea if those people are serious, but a death threat is a threat nonetheless.  So, now, I'm wishing that i could just turn back time and re-think the decisions that i made.  (please forgive me if i sound like I'm rambling...I'm just going at the speed of thought right now.) 

To the (many) hearts I've broken, i hope that you could still forgive me for what I did to you.

To my family, I'm sorry for being such an ass.   I promise, from now on, I will try my best to be the man I said i would be.

To my friends, I'm very sorry that I've been a bit different lately.  Just let me get through this, and the Chevy that you know will be back.

i'm so sorry, everyone.

Currently listening to: Adios Ayer - Jose Padilla
Currently feeling: off

chevman

have you ever felt that you don't belong?  okay...have you ever felt that feeling for 10 years straight?  well, that's how i feel.

i think i'll kill myself.

Currently feeling: sick

chevman

to all those who texted, called, messaged, showed up, hugged, helped, supported, and prayed for my family and me during the past couple of weeks, THANK YOU.  i'm so glad that you guys haven't forgotten my father and the legacy that he has left with us.

to all the people who loved him, his voice, his talent, his charisma, his everything, i just pray that you will never forget the way he was able to touch lives through his art.

i can't thank all of you enough for all the support you have shown my family during this very rough time in our lives.  i miss him terribly...but i know that he's up in heaven, smiling down and watching over us.  everytime i get on stage or in front of the camera, i will be performing for him...and i hope i don't let him down.

i love you, Dad.  i miss you so much.  and don't worry...i will "make it good" for you...every time.  i'm sure there are some "heavenly affairs" that God wants you to host up there.  i'll see you again...someday.  again, i love you so much.  i hope i made you proud.

Currently feeling: lonely